Sugar Speak: How to Translate

Because prostitution is illegal in most states/countries, there is only so much that sugar babies and daddies/mommies can say - at least online. You can say that you expect an allowance, but not offer a particular sex act for a certain dollar amount. As a result, there are code words that you should know.

Also under the heading of things that you should know: Words and phrases that telegraph things that you might not intend.

I'll keep adding to this list as things occur to me. If you think of some, please share them in the 'Comments'.

• I’m a proud dog/cat mommy: I have more pets than friends and zero social skills.
• I like to explore new restaurants: Either I can't afford groceries or those pics you’re looking at were taken before my sudden and ongoing weight gain.
• I like to adventure: I have no concept of grammar.
• Spoil me and I’ll spoil you: I am a full-on hooker and expect to be treated accordingly.
• I’m not like the other girls: Yes, you are. Trust me.
• I like to shop: I’m going to treat you like an ATM.
• I’m a classy girl/woman: No one with class ever says the word ‘classy’.
• Platonic: Next.
• Marriage-minded: 90% of the guys looking at this are already married. Here’s a tip: You’re not going to find a good husband/wife on a sugar baby site. Ever. (See ‘Richard Gere’.)
• Open-minded: You can do whatever you want, provided you pay for it.
• I like to have fun: You will have deeper conversations with a cabbage. May also mean, 'Maybe I'll sleep with you if you buy me everything I deserve because I'm pretty and a spa day to help me stay that way so I can appeal to the next pot-bellied Romeo who comes after you. Or maybe not. I don't want things to feel transactional. Maybe we should take a cruise to get to know each other. Separate cabins, of course.'
• Princess: Self-focused diva doesn't even begin to describe how needy I am.